And so I did my hair and put on make up

I'm getting married in two months. 

Wait, let me say that again. I'M GETTING MARRIED IN TWO MONTHS. In two months my name will be Katarina Walker, I'll have a new roommate, and we'll be together for the rest of eternity. 

I don't think I fully realize what a big deal this is. I so easily make big life decisions casually. Sometimes I expect these decisions to be made with overwhelming emotions and dramatic music (I'm obviously a 21st century kid), but they always happen in really wonderful and simple ways. At least for me.  

But today in biology though, it hit me for a split second. I thought of my life in 2 years, and realized that Shaquille will still be my flat mate. And then in 10 years. And then in 50, 60, maybe 70 years on earth. And then forever after that. My mind can't think about it for too long, or else it makes me feel dizzy. But the point is, in two months we become one. Wherever he goes, I go, and wherever I go, he does too. That's comforting and exciting to me. 

Thank goodness, eh? 

So here are some cute pictures of us. You'd never guess how starving we were. Shaquille did a good job of hiding his "hangriness". 

Brianna is, like, MARRIED

Just yesterday my kindred spirit got married.  Just yesterday we were sitting on my bed as 13-year old emotional, hormonal girls that loved to wonder and fantasize about our future. Then we blinked and we were at high school graduation, then we blinked again and we were woken up with the news that we could go on missions at age 19, then we were on our missions, and then we were back so soon. Now Brianna is married, and I'm engaged.  Our life timeline has been almost the exact same. From leaving our missions, to coming home and dating track stars that both run the 800m, to getting engaged the SAME week. I think God just knew that we needed each other during these very life-altering decisions, and that's it's okay that we still act like kids. We're just kids doing big kid things. Let the good times keep rollin'! Let's plan on having baby #1 at the same time, eh? ;)

Congratulations Brianna and Briton!

Back to Blogging

After coming home from my mission, it was so nice to go onto this blog to find all the emails I had written while I was on my mission in England.  I like blogs.  I like that through blogging i can have a visual and digital journal of my life.  There has been a lot that's happened since I've been home from my mission, and each time I think, "ah, I want to write about this so that I can remember it forever." But after googling my name and realizing that the first thing that popped up was this blog, I was a bit hesitant to share (embarrassing) stories about dating, school, random thoughts and philosophies that I have, knowing that so many people have access to it.  Yes, I love a little bit of privacy.  So, as an easy fix, I've made this blog private so that I can freely write about everything from my thoughts on social issues, to my favorite music, to gushing over how much I'm in love with my fiancé, Mr. Shaquille Walker.

"... I Have Kept The Faith."

This is Katarina's last letter.  She returns home on January 1st!!!

Dear family and friends,

 

I'm sitting in the Oldham library for the last time, writing to you as Sister Dushku for the last time.  A lot of people have been asking me how I feel; if I'm devastated about leaving, or if I'm excited, or nervous. To be honest I'm really not quite sure exactly how I feel.  The United Kingdom has become another place that feels like home, and the people here have become my family.  The biggest feeling I have right now is the overwhelming feeling of gratitude that I have for everything my Heavenly Father has given me.  This has been the biggest and best adventure of my life.  I've learned a lot of things, but I'd like to write down just a few of the important lessons I've learned while serving in the England Manchester Mission.

 

Obedience I feel so blessed that I had a wonderful trainer, Sister Steinagel who helped me understand that the ONLY way I could be successful in life would be to obey the Lord with exactness.  No cutting corners, no picking and choosing my favourite rules. Over the course of my mission, I was amazed at how much it protected me physically, spiritually, and emotionally to not just obey the Lord with my actions, but to obey with my heart, even when that means you stand alone. Everything good that comes to us is underpinned by obedience, and it's the only way to have a happy and successful life. A mission has been the most perfect time for me to identify my favorite sins, and promise to give them away. I have come to love the laws of God.

 

Diligence and hard work:  Missionary work is work non-stop, and I don't think I have EVER worked so hard in my entire life.  Almost every night I would be completely and totally exhausted, and most of the time I had the biggest smile on my face because I knew that I tried my very best to speak to everyone I could about the gospel.  This really helped me to not focus on myself, and to develop the habit of thinking of other people.  Life was so much more interesting and fun, when I was so focused on helping other people, and learning from them.  I have learned how to really use my time wisely, and to enjoy life while I'm working my hardest. 

 

Scripture Study and Prayer:   To be blunt, I didn't love the scriptures, and I didn't consistently have meaningful prayers before my mission. As I've been able to  immerse myself in the scriptures I have been blown away with the wisdom and strength and power behind those words.  As I've studied and prayed, really, really prayed and listened, I've been guided to so many answers to my questions.  I have to add that I know if we didn't have the Book of Mormon, we would not understand the gospel and we wouldn't be able to understand the Atonement.  We need the Book of Mormon.  Everything relates perfectly to our day. I have fallen in love with it, and it has taught me so much about my Saviour.  It has completely cemented my testimony. God has spoken to me so clearly through The Book of Mormon.

 

Coping: There was a time when I was completely exhausted, and it was dark and cold and no one wanted to listen to us, and this went for months! I was struggling so much with everything, and all I wanted to do was to crawl up into a little ball and sleep, and eat chocolate and watch movies, and then go for a drive and listen to my favorite music, and hang out with my friends, and vent, then maybe go dancing.  That's how I dealt with trials back at home, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can completely distract you from the actual problem you're facing.  The way you deal with struggles here is completely different! I really learned how to talk to my Heavenly Father, change, let people help me, and gain strength through priesthood ordinances like blessings from the Elders and taking the sacrament.   

 

Being Excited For the Future: Once I was really able to learn how to handle challenges and trials, it was amazing to me how I stopped fearing trials that would come my way.  I know that for the rest of my life there will be obstacles, but I've learned how to endure well, and find happiness through trials. I know there are great things in the future, and that I have all the right tools to help me in any circumstance.  That is a really safe feeling. I'm excited for what the future holds!

 

A Broken Heart and a Contrite Spirit: I don't think I ever understood what it meant to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit before I came out.   I've realized that the only way we can really change, and learn is when we humble ourselves.  We can only see clearly when we are humble. 

 

Desire: God will support all of us with our righteous goals and desires.  He can also change our desires that we don't like, to be more Christlike.

 

Love: Love is the most important thing in this world.  I've never felt so much love for people in my whole life. I've also learned how much everyone needs to feel loved.  This world really can't get enough of it.  Pure love comes from God, and that love changes hearts, and heals people.  Love, and trust are the greatest ways to help someone recognize their potential. I'm so unbelievably grateful for the people who have loved me and supported me, and believed in me.  When I feel motivated by love, that's when I've really felt like I'm a true disicple of Jesus Christ. Love is always the answer. God helps us through loving us, not condemning us. 

 

I could go on and on. I truly feel that my mission has been the most important decision I've ever made, because it's going to influence the way I live my life for the rest of my life.  I absolutely know that this is Jesus Christ's church on the earth, and that we need the priesthood ordinances and the chances the church gives us to serve one another to return to live with Heavenly Father. Joseph Smith is absolutely a prophet of God, and a wonderful man.  The Book of Mormon is true, and Jesus Christ is the Shepherd of our souls, and is coming soon. 

 

HURRAH FOR ISRAEL!

  

 

Love,

 

Sister Dushku

 

xx

He is the Gift

Dear family and friends,

I'm happy to report on another really wonderful week.  The recent emails I've been receiving have all said "finish strong!", and "give it everything you've got!" I imagined myself spending my whole week teaching and preaching, but Heavenly Father had a little bit of a different plan for our week, because unfortunately Sister Tholen got ill.  Bless her heart, she was as sick as a dog and we had to spend 3 days in the flat.  My whole mission, I've never actually spent longer than a day in the flat, and it was humbling. I just had to pause and say, my mission isn't about me anyway, and Sister Tholen's health is way more important than anything we have scheduled.  Despite the fact that she felt awful, we had a lot of fun together, and I also slept more than I've slept in over a year! Maybe this is Heavenly Father's way of helping me rest up before I jump into University. 

Despite the fact that we spent a few days in the flat, we saw SO many miracles with members this week! Our bishop's son posted the He is the Gift video on Facebook, and one of his friends from high school asked him about it, and then downloaded the Book of Mormon, and now we have an appointment with her TONIGHT! How easy is that?

Lovely Lee who I spoke about last week also rang us saying "I have an appointment for you to teach my friend Tuesday morning."

And THEN, yesterday we stopped by to see Paul, a man who has just recently come back to church, to see if we could teach his family members that he brought to the ward Christmas party, and he rang them right then, and set up a time for THEM have us over for tea on Saturday. 

I have NEVER received so many member referrals in my life. I'm so excited.  Sister Tholen and I are so excited to be going about missionary work this way.  It's such a better way to meet and teach people.  It's exciting! The members here have such a wonderful desire to share the gospel.   

We taught M the Plan of Salvation and it was great.  He just cracks me up. He was overjoyed that in the resurrection he won't be bald, and at the end we each bore our testimony of God's plan for us, and then invited him to pray about it.  He said "I don't even need to ask, because I already know it's true." He was ill as well this week, and as we were leaving I said "hope you get some sleep!" and he said in a bit of a sassy voice, "If the Book of Mormon will let me..." We give him so much homework... and he's a good student. I just adore the people we are teaching. He's going to make a great Latter-day Saint.

It's a good day the be a missionary.

I am grateful for Jesus Christ. I'm grateful that even though when He came to this earth, He didn't fully realize at first what he was meant to do, that he always sought God's help, and that He was faithful to help, as He grew grace for grace to realize who is really is.  I feel like we can apply that ourselves.  We really don't fully understand who we really are, and how incredible we can become, so God gives us his church, and his gospel to help us walk in the light, so that one day we can fully realize what it means to be a child of God.  It's an incredible journey and I'm grateful we have been given our Savior to show us the way.  

See you soon. Love you dearly.

Now for some food pictures!

Love Sister Dushku xx

"Fear no man, love life, and live the dream"‏

Yalright me loves?

We're doing alright over here in the lovely land of Manchester.  It rained quite a bit this last week, and we also got a little bit of snow! Rumour has it that we're going to have a white Christmas, but one thing I've definitely learnt since being here is to NEVER trust the weatherman. 

The theme of this week has to be "I LOVE MY LIFE." On Tuesday we had a zone meeting, and our Zone Leaders have created this new "theme" for our zone.  They had all of us take a rather awkward stance of our choice, that made us feel empowered, and we all chanted "I fear no man! We live the dream! I LOVE MY LIFE!" It actually makes you feel wonderful, especially when you say it loudly.  So when you wake up in the morning to go to work, or school, or if you're teaching early morning seminary (Maria..) shout, "I LOVE MY LIFE!" You'll feel great, I promise.

So here are a few miracles for you:

1st: Claire.  She's a Mormon.org referral and she supposedly referred herself, but she said she didn't. She was a little spooked by it, and was really hesitant meeting with us.  She feels like life hasn't been fair to her, and the first time we were with her, we could barely get a word in.  Sister Tholen and I were less hopeful about her, but the second time we went over, we watched He is the Gift, and she agreed to say the closing prayer.  She felt weird because it was the first prayer she'd ever said out loud, but she thanked God for her life.  Then when we came back, we asked her if she had read any of the Book of Mormon.  She said yes, and then proceeded to give us a very detailed description of what she'd read, and basically taught us the restoration. The most incredible part is that her whole countenance had changed by the third time we'd seen her.  She went from bitter, more humble and willing to listen, to grateful for the things she has.  She told us that she recognizes that we aren't there to take anything from her. There's no catch, we're simply there to share the gospel.  It's often times very confusing for people to accept that. 

2nd M! At church yesterday M came and right before he left we showed him the baptismal font and invited him to be baptised.  He looked at the mirrors in the baptismal font, had this horrified look on his face and said "so everyone will be able to see all of me when I'm baptised?" At first we didn't quite understand what he was saying until we realized that he thought he had to get baptised naked.  We reassured him that he would be wearing clothes, and he was like "that's alright!" and now M is preparing to be baptised! He's the funniest, sassiest, but most humble and sincere Iranian man I've ever met.  Frank (a recent convert from last year and M flatmate) will hopefully baptise him.

Last year when I was here, Sister Steinagel and Klingonsmith and I worked a lot with a less active member called Lee.  She's 4 feet, and totally adorable.  She reads us a scripture every morning, and has completely given up smoking, and is our #1 member missionary now.  She will drop anything to come and help us, and has the purest desire to share the gospel.  We visited a lot of people and Sisten Tholen and I feel like she's one of our companions.

We went to our Stake's Christmas Carol Concert. I got to see President Preston sing in the choir. I was at this concert last year too.  I can't help but feel like this is my home away from home.   

Well, this is my last full week to proselyte, and it's going to be the best week of my life.  I'm so grateful to be a missionary in Oldham, with Sister Tholen. I love you all!

Bye for now!

Sister Dushku

xxx

"Our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream.."‏

It's Christmas time!  Everyone's bustling, drinking unhealthy amounts of hot vimto, and hot chocolate (I'm talking about the members here..), people are getting sick, families are getting together, and there are Christmas lights everywhere, and people seem a bit more willing to talk about the Saviour, and dispel the misconception that Mormons don't celebrate Christmas. This is absolutely my favourite time of year!

"So what happened this week?" (this is what I just said to Sister Tholen, I can't distinguish between the weeks anymore).

Ah, a lot of great things have happened. A couple of weeks ago I talked about teaching a man called M, a recent converts flatmate, the restoration in the chapel with Ken and Jenny.  M is from Iran and is one of the most humble people I've ever met.  We taught him in Ken and Jenny's home this and he just has such a pure desire to follow Jesus Christ. When we taught him a little bit about Christ's baptism, he told us that it's something he would like to do to show his commitment to the Saviour.  He came to Stake Conference and the Missionary Fireside and loved it.  

Speaking of the Missionary Fireside, I got to see Taylor (from South Ribble) bear her testimony.  This girl used to be as quiet as a mouse when we would go over there and was terrified to have any attention on her, but has she's gone to seminary every morning, and has gotten involved with activities, and even has come out with the missionaries, it's completely changed her into this confident girl who's sharing her conversion story with over 200 people.  That is speaking with the tongue of angels.  

We had a man from the Seventy come and speak at our Stake Conference.  He's from Italy and WOW, this man is absolutely called of God.  He got up with his scriptures and gave such a powerful sermon on faith and loving people. He spoke for an hour.  He talked about how it's so important for us to not see people for who they are right now, but who they can become.  When we think of Thomas in the bible, we usually think of how he doubted the Saviour, but do we think about how he was ready to die for him? He talked about about how it's so easy to see everyone's flaws and to forget that we're all children of God with endless potential. We are not defined by our weaknesses. 

We had a district meeting and our district leader had us all sing "God be with you till we meet again".  I just started casually singing it, and then I got a lump in my throat, and I couldn't sing anymore. Sometimes things just really hit you in the face, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. The poor elders!  I blame my district leader for choosing that hymn.  They gave Sister Tholen and me a blessing after.  I'm grateful for the priesthood.

I love you all, I will see you soon!

Love,

Sister Dushku xx